Sadly, I moved from NYC a little while ago. I was trying to come up with a spot in Queens, in the Ridgewood neighborhood to tell you about. It's practically in Brooklyn (Greenpoint-ish), but very discrete and not at all cruise-y like the Manhattan spots. But for the life of me I can't remember the exact location.
If I make it back on a trip, I'll be sure to let you know. Maybe our schedules could line up
Keep up the good work!